What a difference a year makes...

Last year around this time I was depressed, devastated, confused and angry as I dealt with recovering from a second miscarriage in a matter of months and wondering if I would ever get the chance to be a new mom again. You can read about that experience here. http://mahanamomma.blogspot.com/2010/01/ache.html. I knew in my heart that my family was not complete. I would call everyone to the dinner table and then look around to see who was missing. I would count the heads and everyone was there ~ and yet I knew that someone was absent. But what else could I do?

My loving Father answered the prayers of my heart and here I sit, a year later, five weeks away from giving birth to baby #5. My feet are swollen, my back hurts and my skin is stretched tight over my bulging abdomen. I am tired but sleep is uncomfortable. I worry about money and space and time constraints. I miss wearing jeans and bending over effortlessly to pick toys up off the floor.

But, most of all, I am oh, so grateful. I hurry to squelch any murmer of complaint as I marvel at the new life inside of me. As I feel this baby move and kick. As my children place little hands on my belly, hoping to feel this new sibling flutter against their palms. A sweet boy puts his mouth close to my skin and says, "Hi there, I am your big brother." I so look forward to meeting this new little one. To holding her...or him...and kissing him...or her...and basking in the little piece of heaven that a new baby brings into a home.

Our extended family's motto for the new year is WAIT UPON THE LORD. Don't be a weight to him, standing in the way and hindering his design, fighting against his plan. Instead, ask him for what you want and then live your life in the best way you can to make you worthy of those blessings he sees fit to give. Submit your will and your faith to his plan in his time, even if it isn't exactly what you asked for. And I know that sometimes it won't be. Be true to him and then wait for his promise.

Indeed.

His plans for us exceed our best design and all he asks is our faith, our obedience, our trust in his perfect love. He holds miracles aplenty that he wants to use to bless our lives ~ I can't wait to greet this one.