I love birthdays. I love celebrating the milestone of having existed on this earth for another year. I treasure so much the time I have to learn and to grow and to explore this beautiful world and the people in it. I never want to take a moment of that time for granted. I think that is why I have such a hard time relaxing; I don't want to waste precious time, because all of our days are numbered.
43. That is this year's number. But those two digits don't seem to convey adequately what my life has been. There are so many other numbers to take into consideration. Four years of college, five children, seven pregnancies, one marriage, six houses, three younger sisters, six in-law siblings, 18 nieces and nephews, 21 anniversaries, too many funerals, one missionary, and innumerable grey hairs. I am noticing more wrinkles too, though I try to remind myself that wrinkles only appear where laughter has been.
This isn't exactly the life I pictured I would be living twenty-five years ago. I didn't see myself teaching English at my alma mater -- the same high school both my parents graduated from and in the same building where my grandpa taught. I didn't think I would only have five kids. And I sure didn't imagine I would be raising my own family across the street from the house I grew up in. I pictured myself with more money, more poise, more education, more confidence...
But some parts of this life are better than I could have ever imagined. The relationships I have with my five children are better than I could have dreamed. They are truly my best friends and some of the finest humans I know. My husband works hard to provide for us and is so good at trying to make me happy. I feel like I know what I am here on earth to do and what talents and abilities I have been given as gifts from God to fulfill that purpose. I have met and developed relationships with some of the greatest people who inspire me every time I am around them and who teach me so much. I get to go to a job that I absolutely love, and teach and inspire and touch the lives of dozens of students. I have opportunities to continue learning and thriving in an environment of education. I get to teach my children at home and then spend lazy summer days in the backyard with them My house is not fancy and new, but it is comfortable and peaceful and I have developed the skills to make it beautiful. It is a place my kids and their friends can feel the Spirit and somewhere they like to hang out. It is filled with lots of singing and laughter.
I am at a place in my life where I realize the things that really matter are the knowledge I have gained, the service I have given, and the relationships I have built. My bank account may be teetering on empty but my heart is filled to bursting with gratitude for this amazing life I get to claim! Here's to another 43 years!
